Where my shoes are

This is where I stand:

1 x completed semester of a degree I'm abandoning;

1 x application for a different degree, in a different direction;

1 x demanding job;

1 x demanding boss;

1 x possible new accommodations closer to demanding job; and

(23598645)^23 x people possibilities. (new relationships, friendships, etc.)

Or at least, this is where my shoes stand are.

Seems a little strange to me, but I feel a bit detached. 

I'm present for all of this.. the exams, the boardroom meetings, the deadlines, the lease agreements, the nights out on the town, etc. but later on, looking back, some of it feels like it isn't didn't wasn't happening to me, but to someone else - like a dream, an extremely vivid dream at that.

Make no mistake - I'm happy, more so than I've been in a while. I just don't quite understand why this is happening. 

I love where things are at the moment... Income is stable, I work hard, I study hard, I'm motivated to do new things, I have good friends (few, but better to have a few gems than 12348762305 stones), but something may be a little off. 

As I say, I feel a bit detached, as if it's not me that it's all happening to. I'm just watching from another view. 

I think it's happening because of too many conflicting decisions. The decision to change degrees, the decision to move into a new place, etc. 

I never really believed in this kind of thing before, but I've been doing a bit of horoscope research.. and low and behold.. my star sign? Yeah, we have trouble making decisions and then sticking to them. It's pretty much  like two people of differing opinions living in my head. Don't get me wrong, it's not some schizophrenia where they have no idea about each other.. and they're never presented to the outside world.. they just disagree and make things difficult for me.

When I've made a decision and then start doubting it, or doubt sticking to it, I sometimes feel like this... 

So it's more like 3 people.. Two trying to go their own ways, and a third trying to decide who to follow. I'm not sure if my slight psychosis is normal, in fact I'm sure it isn't. 

Anyways, onto lighter subjects.. 

As an update.. work seems to be going well. I'm a week away from the end of my probation period. And from what I hear, not many people make it this far at this company. As I explained in a previous post though, the people here are insane - like myself - which may explain why I have lasted - also possibly contributing to my psychosis. It can be incredibly demanding - occasionally 12 or 14 hour days at the office - or incredibly laid back where we leave by 15h00.. A balance needs to be found somewhere here. 

Regarding changing degrees, I believe my mind has been made up. I'm switching from BCom in Marketing Management to BCom Law. Apparently this is a better (more useful) degree after completion, and leaves more doors open as to employment opportunities. I will no doubt make the switch within the next 2 weeks. And then to buckle down, this degree is more difficult as well. 

Also on such a note, yesterday was my last exam for the semester. Commercial Law.. I finished a 2 hour paper in 30min and subsequently had to wait for the hour mark until I could leave. Luckily, in switching degrees, I should retain credits I have acquired for this semester. These last 7 weeks of exams were hell. It's not that the work load was too much (OK, at one point normal work was trying to kill me), they just seemed to drag on forever. 

Now that that is over, I just have to wait for results.. Tragically, they are released the day before my birthday and I think I may have failed a unit. Woop woop .. o_o .. 

Something else which has recently come to my attention is the fact that there is an 'education policy' being paid out to me this year that I was not aware of. The decision stands: do I leave my job and my income and go back to varsity full time? Or do I carry on as I am, study part time, and invest the rest? Also, keep earning a salary.. To me, this depends on how my varsity results turn out this year. I believe, the smarter move (if I can handle it) is to keep working, invest the excess policy, and finish my degree(s) part time. It's self-supportive and provides more freedom than full time varsity would.

I need to pretty much decide today whether or not I'm taking an apartment I have found close to work. It's a 2 bedroom place, lounge, kitchen, bathroom and balcony.. Really quite nice and for quite a good price considering where it is. The thing that is stopping me is the commitment to it. I have never lived by myself and a lease is not something you can suddenly terminate. I think that I'm taking it, I just hope that it is the correct decision. Moving there comes with a lot of pros.. but also some cons that I will just have to deal with. There will obviously be unforeseen costs, I just wish I could know exactly what it'll cost from the outset. The whole being broke thing doesn't really do it for me.

People.. well that's just another story. Seems my friend circles change often these days. In the last year I have completely changed friend groups. I think I outgrew some people. Otherwise, relationships.. well that's something else, I don't need to discuss that now, or here. 

In other news, I'm going back to possible business ventures.. revisiting ideas.. hopefully with progress this time. :)

It's my birthday next week.. unfortunately, I'm on training for work during the day.. the joys. I plan to get shit faced with half the people who read this though! 

Just to revisit the duality that is going on in my head, it's a legit thing Geminians suffer from apparently, and I'm no different. We apparently 'see both sides of the situation and sympathise with them equally' .. which is why it is difficult to favour one. On one side, I like being independent and doing my own thing, on the other, I wish there was someone who could make the decisions for me and I would just have to stick to them. Oh wait, there is someone - it's called a wife. Unfortunately, I do not have one of these mythical creatures. If someone knows where I can find one, please do forward me details. ;)

Now that the pressure has been relieved out of my head (with this here post), and the semester is finished - time to drank.. I plan to. And then back to work and difficult decisions. I just need to find my shoes.. or at least where they are and where they're supposed to be and stop these out of body experiences. O_o

Now go, put on your weaves and slap a bitch. 

Running Back to Corporate Slavery

Once again I return to this blog. This faithful blog, that sits in waiting.. occasionally staring at me in disdain, I'm quite sure it feels abandoned. Glimmers of hope appear when I return and author measly news update posts, and I have one today for that purpose. Though the blog is important to me, I don't have as much time for it as I'd like - and when I do, I'm sure I'll pay it more attention.

So here goes:

The last you'd heard from me, I (as an unemployed hobo) had just worked pure slavery through Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week and was still on the job-search grind.

A pretty coincidental chain of events happened after that.

Right after fashion week, I gave myself a good talking to and decided that perhaps the job search was going to take a bit longer than expected - it had already been nearly 4 months since I quit. I had decided that even though I was studying, I needed something else to keep my mind busy and I had come up with an idea that could potentially lead into a different career - one I wouldn't mind to be honest - and that I could start without any formal education (no more than I already had) and just a bit of talent.

I'm not going to give you too many details on the venture, except that I would've been freaking kick-ass at it and that although (currently) it isn't off the ground - finer details haven't even really been worked out - it still definitely remains in my plans for the future - along with recording. Perhaps once I have completed this degree, I will return to these. In fact I plan to.

Back to what's already been happening in my life though, straight from fashion week there were literally less than 2 weeks to the Nike Run Jozi marathon.

I had only discovered the event less than a month beforehand, and had entered immediately. Apparently, Nike has run this kind of event in major cities (about 15 if I remember correctly?) all over the world in an effort to take back the city from the degradation that has defaced it. To inspire the people, to assure them that the city is not as dangerous as it seems. Facts were as follows: 10km distance, 10 000 runners, the central business district - at night.

When I entered, I of course knew nothing about the event, and was surprised to find out it was a night-time race. Though apprehensive, I was excited.

After fashion week, I trained literally every night. Trying to make sure that I could do 10km within a select time, on any form of terrain.

Eventually, I ran out of time and had to make do with the 8km I was achieving daily, in my area. I could only hope that I would finish. The race packs were awesome - filled with freebies - and freely personalized T's. This was mine  >>

By the time race day arrived, I was shitting myself - I had never run an event like this before..

All I can say is that it was incredible. Nike handled logistics of the event impressively well, seamlessly integrating runners, security, crowds and any other aspect. I have not felt energy like that running before. Equipped with my iPod, David Guetta and Deadmau5's latest albums, I just kept going. I kept passing people and my legs never tired. Turns out I ran my personal best 10km time ever >>

Of course the photographers catch me looking like a retard. Congratulations. At least I made it through before the hour mark. Also, my time could've been better if the effing crowd started moving faster in the beginning of the race and I wasn't so far back. Also, in this photo above, I'm holding my phone and ipod - I was tweeting from the run. Nevermind I nearly ran into some people by mistake because of that.. >>

Regardless, what an awesome event. I'm hoping it returns next year - so that I can further kick some ass. And tweet some more.

Two days before Nike Run Jozi, I applied for a job in a law firm. Within two hours, I had a response and they wanted to see me for an interview. I - obviously overjoyed at the thought - said I was available as soon as it was convenient to them. Stupid move. 'How about today was the answer' .. I hesitated for a second - apparently it was detected - 'How about tomorrow' .. I was thinking: 'no, screw this, I'll make it work' and I did. The day before Nike Run Jozi,  I went for my interview.

I dressed very well, made sure I was more than presentable and was off on my merry journey. Apparently I had impressed the two ladies who interviewed me as they then took me straight to the firm partner for his interview. Basically a first and second round within an hour. The conversation was fine - until they decided to test my skills - basically what I'd need to be able to do for the job - in front of the boss. I did what I could, as fast as I could. When they were checking my results, it got very quiet and I began to worry that I'd lost it.

But then, out of nowhere - they began speaking again - saying that it was pretty accurate and that they were impressed. I was asked to leave the room and in his words 'so that they could discuss me behind my back' ...

I was then offered to start the following Monday - on a 3 month probation period, after which I'd be offered full time employment and a raise. The offered probationary salary was already more than I'd ever earned.

I started the following Monday, have learned loads and actually quite like what I'm doing. On the slow days I am afforded the opportunity to study. I'm a paralegal for the moment.

All in all, March 2012 was an amazing month. I met some cool people, learned some things about myself that I never would've expected and found life moving forward once again. Though I'm now juggling a full day's work, against a full day's studying and working out etc., and it's incredibly exhausting, I would not go back to where I was before. Unemployed, demotivated and lazy. Too much time to spare and days blurring into one another, it was not the best time I've had. And although working here can be turbulent, it is hilarious and the people are completely off the wall - I fit in :)

In regards to studying, I'm heading into exams as of the 7th of May, I think I'll die before then.. or after.. well definitely after, at least some day I'm sure. I mean I'm not like Madonna who will survive the apocalypse and everything. I do hope there will be more time to check in and I'm actively going to make an effort to write more often - this post has made me realise how much I miss it.

Until then, compadres - farewell and all other socially acceptable goodbyes you can think of.

A lot like La Roux

Greetings slavelings.

Today I write for you my second post of 2012. As the lame people on twitter speak: page 14 of 366 till we DIE. -_- ok then..

I thought I'd just lay out the game plan for the year ahead, much like a To-do list and actually stick to it.

I just discovered this artist La Roux the other day.. YET ANOTHER GINGER:

(Not for sensitve viewers)

 

And at first I was all: 

THEN I realised you can't kill fire with fire. *dies*

AND THEN I realised her name means red in French. 

That moment was a bit like this:

Fitting for a ginger although unimaginative.

I listened to that album a couple times.. discovered two songs which seem rather relevant for my attitude at the moment. 

The first is In for The Kill .. That is how I'm approaching the year ahead. It's my first time studying via correspondence, while hopefully working fulltime and being all growed up. The only way to do something like this is to approach it with no fear. This is what I have to. 

The second song, was Bulletproof. Also very relevant in the fact that I'm past being screwed over by companies and losing friends. I don't need that much drama in my life. From now on it's kick-ass all the way, absolutely nothing can attack me this year. Except for a velociraptor, 'cause you know, that could happen when you least expect it to. 

Speaking of Bulletproof.. I've told you people before that I like to dabble in music.. I want to record a version of Bulletproof with my voice.. I think it might be pretty killer.

I actually wonder if (except for Dec 21st 2012) we have any other planned raptures for this year. I mean I'm already a two-time rapture survivor thanks to last year, I'm practically a veteran. Dec 21st happens to be a Friday, just by the way:- 

Gotta have my bowl

Gotta have cereal

Everybody's Russian:- wait, what? O_o

FUN FUN FUN FUN

Back on topic though, all of my university course work has arrived in the mail. I've got all my text books and I start on Monday, which according to their tutorial books is about 2 weeks earlier than necessary but I'm determined to be disciplined about this. This is important if I plan to have a real career instead of trying to remember some people don't like gerkins on their Big Macs. After this bcom degree I'd like to study my MBA as well. Estimated date of study completion? End of 2017 O_O

I also plan to become employed hopefully within a matter of weeks, a proper job at a proper company. No more sales bullshit. And no more office automation, ever again. Hopefully if I find the right job, I can sort of build the base of a career, thinking long-term of course. And with the kind of job positions I've been aiming for, saving money should be a possiblity. (y) 

To join a gym, of course is one of my next plans of action. This working out at home story.. I'm tired of it. Along with that, is to relax more - this includes catching a tan. Lily white is old.

Assuming all goes to plan, and I can save enough money, I'd like to take myself overseas at the end of the year. I'm thinking New York. Possibly my favourite city in the world, it's been a dream to go there forever. Any wonder why? > 

I can hear the Hallelujah Corus even now.

I've also applied for a job in Munich, Germany. Surprising, but true. If I get and opportunity like that I'm taking it no question. And it's in my hopeful line of work, creative. It's a copy-writing post. 

Another goal, which may be made easier if I go to Germany, is to buy myself a new car within a year or two. It's just a personal goal. Currently I have my eye on a BMW 1 series coupe or the 2012 VW Beetle, as I currently drive a 2000 Bug. It'll be easier to buy it there, drive it for a year and then ship it over here if I move back. That way the car's price is nearly halved because as a South Africa, we pay nearly 100% the item's original value as import tax.

By the way I have a kitteh now. :D 

Her name is Grace, she was an SPCA rescue and she's nearly 2 years old. She's a Peach Calico. Inbetween the date we saw her and when we were supposed to get her, apparently her old owners went back and reclaimed her. Yesses was I pissed off about that. But when we went back, 'cause we'd already paid, she was still there. :) Apparently it was some mix up in paperwork. But it's cool, she's home now. This has to be the most chilled cat I've ever met. Very happy. You can find pictures on twitterrrrrr

So yeah, that's my take on 2012, for the moment at least. I'm off to record now, as I said before. 

Enjoy your evening kiddies.

P.S. My next post is going to be something a little different.. It's fictional (mostly) and is mostly the retelling of a (very) vivid dream I had the other night. If you interpret dreams, please come forward, help a dude out?

If you don't already follow me on Twidder >> Sawyerbean21